some random thoughts on Christmas eve...

Am home now...I suppose I will consider Vancouver home for a long time to come...all that is familiar to me...my heart...it is here...

Flew in late on Friday evening...travelling from LAX was interesting...lots of ppl going home for the holidays...security was heightened to orange alert (more on that later:P)...all in all, not one of the highlights of week...

I suppose with the season, the level of paranoia (sense of security) in the US is high...but spent a considerable amount of time running back and forth at LAX. First of all, the 405 was terrible...it took more than 2 hrs to go from TO to LAX...even though I was in a shuttle, I was developing road rage:P Checked in, waited in line with 50 others for the X-ray machine...then trudged over to the security checkpoint...where a really nice lady pointed out that the lotions a friend had asked me to buy would be thrown out (b/c of alert status)...so ran back to the X-ray area to see if I could load them into my luggage...when I saw more than 100 ppl, my heart sank...but thanks to some big hearted ppl and security, I was able to stow those precious lotions in my bag (you owe me, Jen!!!)...40 mins in line to get a burger, a 3 hr flight later...I was home:)

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Over the years, my relationship with my dad hasn't been the most comfortable (to put it mildly)...but I think he appreciates what I do more now...he was very happy to see me...and I am glad. One cannot pick one's family...one can only make the best of it, methinks...

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During these holidays, I realize that I must appreciate those around me more...to be honest, though I am not religious (in the defining sense)...I do feel blessed. Those few who consider me a friend...and those who never wavered in their faith, even when I "forgot" who they were...I will never forget.

I suppose, as I write now (and think a little:P)...my moving made me realize how fortunate I am...the one who helped and trusted me (when most others would refrain)...the one who helped me find a friendly face in a place where I saw none...the one who thought that I was worth waiting for (even though I was more than a thousand miles away)...the two who welcomed me into their home (as if I had never left)...for everyone, these ppl have no names...but for me...they will always have a place in my heart and mind...as I will never forget...no matter where the road of life leads...

So at this time of year...though I feel what I do for these ppl is small and insignificant...I am very thankful that these ppl are a part of my life...it is truly my honour...

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So to all, I wish you the very best. I hope you will be able to spend all your moments with those you love...and that you too, will feel as I do...blessed:) May the New Year bring into existence all that simply exists in your heart and mind now...

:)

the first two days...

Well, made it! Not through the week yet, but at least through two days! The past week has been interesting to say the least! Where shall I begin...

Let's see...how about starting with the good ol' DMV. If I were a tourist or someone NOT eligible for a Social Security Number, I could get a California DL in no time; however, because I am eligible AND have a valid BCDL, I cannot until I have a SSN - lovely! No SSN, no DL, no bank account, no health benefits (though I hope that will be remedied soon), yada, yada, yada... Sheesh, I may as well come from a village with horse drawn carriages being the mode of transportation.

Well, after one week, got a phone (though I had to pay a $500 deposit)...got a place to live (with a seemingly nice Chinese family that I was referred to by my ex-supervisor's old classmate (who also happens to work at the same company))...got a PO box (for my toys:P...just kidding - will help if I have to move a lot...though hope not)...got my bank account too:)...no credit cards though. What else? Hmmm, could finally log in to my computer...my phone has been delivered and works! Have my security badge...after I was told that even though I had an employee ID, phone, computer and everything else set up prior to my arrival...that I didn't exist in the system...gotta love that:P

Well, it's been pretty good. My office mate has been phenomenal...she has really gone out of her way to make me feel at home...and help me with the little things...for that I am very thankful...am lucky that I have met so many nice ppl in my short time here...I hope it continues:)

Well, enough blabbing about nonsense...three more days...then I get to go home:)

Hmmm...I wonder where my stuff is? Maybe somewhere between here and home...hope it comes soon...

my last week at Xenon...

Well, it's been an interesting few weeks. Had my exit interviews at Xenon last week - one from HR, which I thought was quite good...I didn't lose my temper and don't think I came across as being bitter (I was told I was "eloquent"...haha, who would have thought THAT about me???). The other with the director of the group.

With HR, I was asked to rate various issues and give my comments about my time spent at Xenon and what motivated me to leave. We talked about what made a good company...in my mind, at least, it is one that returns the employees' loyalty...one that would treat everyone (from top to bottom) as being in the same boat...in times of success and more importantly, in times of failure. Xenon never really did that, imho...in times of success, the ppl who were the best were not recognized (and I am not really talking about myself here)...and they grow frustrated and leave...in times of failure, the management, in their infinite wisdom, feels that cutting a low position (30K) will somehow extend the company's run towards an IPO...I never could understand this math. So I asked the lady handling the interview how the company would continue to mature and be its best, if all the best ppl simply left after receiving their training? She didn't have a good answer...but it was obvious that I wasn't the first to ask her this...she acknowledged this both directly and indirectly...

With the director of biology...this was interesting...in that we have worked together for 4.5 years...I worked hard...and he gave me a lot of opportunities...and vice versa. We talked for more than an hour. He simply reiterated why this company couldn't promote me to a PhD level position...that it would establish a precedence...and soon, everyone would be in that position...which, to quote the English, is bollocks! In my performance reviews, verbally and in my responsibilities, he has made it clear that I have been on that level for a long time...in fact, Xenon was going to create a new level for me...which I think is comical:P Well, no matter what the rules are, whether on a PhD level or not, there will always be a range in abilities and talent among a pool of ppl...not everyone with a PhD become a senior director. So, he said at the outset that he had seen this day coming for a long time...

In some ways, I would have liked to stay in Vancouver...it is home for me...it is the place that I am most familiar with. But at this point in my career, especially if I want to stay in science, I have to move out of my comfort zone...absolutely. And I can't think of a place that is further out of my comfort zone than LA:)

amusing:P...